Parental guidelines in case you need a babysitter

In some states you may be able to obtain a listing of child-care services through the County

Office for Children or even local law enforcement. Look in your telephone book under

“County

Government” or call your local law-enforcement agency. Child-care services are licensed,

and you may be able to receive recommendations or check references through the licensing

body.

Hiring the Babysitter

Once you have made a list of possible babysitters, carefully check their references.

Contact the sitter’s past employers, teachers, counselors, relatives, friends, or neighbors,

and ask them about the sitter’s child-care qualifications. Most importantly, interview several

prospective sitters personally and observe their interaction with your children. Look for

mature and responsible people who listen and respond well to your children and appear

relaxed and happy with them.

Last, outline the babysitter’s duties and responsibilities and discuss an imagined

emergency situation and how he or she might react. When you decide on a babysitter who

meets your high standards, discuss the hours and fees for service. Also verify and write

down his or her name, home address, and telephone number. In addition, ask for and write

down any other key identifying information such as a driver’s license number. Many states

provide access to sex-offender registries and criminal-history checks. Check with your state

law-enforcement department on how you can access this information.

Whether you work full time outside the home or are simply going out for the evening, you

want the best possible care for your children while you are away from them. Before you hire

anyone to watch over your children, make sure that he or she is a mature, experienced, and

capable individual who truly cares about the welfare of children. Check all references, and

make sure to observe the babysitter with your children.

Above all, ask your children whether or not they like and trust the babysitter and what

activities took place during your time away.

Finding a Babysitter

The best sources of information on child care are the recommendations of family, friends,

and neighbors. You may also advertise for a babysitter through your local high school,

church, civic organization, or other sources you trust.

If you are new to the area, check the yellow pages of the telephone book (under

“Sitting Services”) for a list of child-care services. Certain sitting services advertise that

their sitters are “bonded.” This means that the babysitting service has purchased an insurance

bond that will cover certain damages or loss of your property; however, the bond most

likely will not protect your children in any way. Determine whether the sitting service

has made a criminal-history check on or has otherwise screened its employees.

When the Babysitter Arrives

Ask the babysitter to arrive at least 15 minutes before you depart. Make sure that you

let the sitter know exactly where you will be and how you can be reached. Write down the

address and telephone number of the place where you will be. Also make a list of emergency

telephone numbers for a friend or relative, the children’s doctor, the local lawenforcement

agency, the fire department, an ambulance service, and the poison-control

center. Carefully go over any family rules and daily routines, paying special attention to eating

and sleeping arrangements. Take the sitter on a tour of the house, showing him or her any

first aid equipment and all doors and possible exits. It is a good idea to discuss the family

rules regarding

television, snacks, and bedtime with both the babysitter and the children present. It is your

responsibility as a parent to let your children know what rules are to be obeyed when you are

out of the house. Before leaving your home, share the specific instructions noted below with

the babysitter.

• Lock all doors when left alone with the children.

• Carefully watch the children while they are awake, and be sure to keep them

away from dangerous objects or chemicals and protected from household

accidents.

• Sitters in our home are not allowed to have visitors or guests, nor leave the

children alone in the house at any time.

• Regularly check the children when they go to sleep, and be sure to stay awake

during your entire stay in our home to allow for such periodic checks.

• Do not tell anyone who calls the house that the children are alone with a

babysitter. Ask the caller to leave a message for us.

• Do not open the door to anyone unless we have given prior permission. Again,

ask to take a message.

• Carefully watch the children when going outside to the yard. This list contains

the names of children who may play with or visit our children when they

are outside, if the parents of the other children agree.

• When in a public place, carefully watch the children, and do not permit them to

wander. Avoid sending the children to public restrooms alone. Make sure that

you lock all windows and doors before you leave the house. If something seems

suspicious when you return, such as a broken window or door, immediately

call law enforcement from another house.

Your Return Home

As a parent, when you return home, ask the babysitter if the children are safe and if anything

unusual happened—telephone calls, visits, and so on. Make sure that the babysitter is

escorted home, and wait until he or she is safely inside before you leave. Most importantly,

when the babysitter has left, talk to your children about what happened while you were gone.

Ask them what games they played and about any other activities. Ask your children if

anything happened that made them feel uncomfortable or afraid.

Safety Tips for Your Children

Your children should be reminded of the safety instructions noted below, that apply to

babysitters as well as others.

• If someone wants to take your picture, tell mom and dad or a trusted adult.

• No one should touch you on the parts of the body that would be covered by a bathing

suit, nor should you touch anyone else in those areas. Your body is special and

private.

• Trust your feelings about what is right and wrong behavior.

• No one should approach you or touch you in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable.

• You can be assertive, and you have the right to say NO to someone who tries to

take you somewhere, touches you, or makes you feel uncomfortable in any

way.

As a parent, above all, be sensitive to changes in your child’s behavior, and find out

from your child what caused the changes.

Your home should be a place of trust and support where your children can feel safe in

discussing fears and other sensitive matters and in relating experiences that made

them uncomfortable. Good and healthy communication with your child can go a long

way toward preventing child exploitation and abuse.

There is always a chance that a child may disclose past acts of exploitation or general feelings

of fear. If this happens, we want you to be prepared to help your child. Follow the guidelines

noted below if your child indicates that he or she may have been the victim of sexual abuse

or exploitation.

DON’T panic or overreact to the information disclosed by your child.

DON’T criticize or blame your child.

• Respect your child’s privacy, and make sure you’re in a comfortable place when you talk.

• Support your child and the decision to tell the story.

• Explain to your child that he or she has done no wrong.

• Seek out appropriate medical attention.

• Alert the child-protection, youth-services, child-abuse, or other appropriate social-service

organizations. The police, sheriff’s office, or other law-enforcement agency must also be

notified.

• Consider the need for counseling or therapy for your child, and seek referrals

for qualified individuals from the other professionals who are helping you.

Detecting Sexual Exploitation

Sexual exploitation should not be confused with physical contacts that are true expressions of

affection. A warm and healthy relationship can exist if adults respect the child and place

reasonable limits on their physical interaction. The reality of sexual exploitation is that often

the children are confused, uncomfortable, and unwilling to talk about the experience to

parents, teachers, or anyone else. But they will talk if you have already established an

atmosphere of trust and support in your home, where your children will feel free to talk

without fear of accusation, blame, or guilt. Parents should be alert to these indicators of

sexual abuse.

• Changes in behavior, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, fearfulness, and excessive crying.

• Bed-wetting, nightmares, fear of going to bed, or other sleep disturbances.

• Acting out inappropriate sexual activity or showing an unusual interest in

sexual matters.

• A sudden acting out of feelings or aggressive or rebellious behavior.

• Regression to infantile behavior.

• A fear of certain places, people, or activities, especially being alone with

certain people. Children should not be forced to give affection to an adult or

teenager if they do not want to. Be alert to signs that your child is trying to avoid

someone, and listen carefully when your child tells you how he or she feels

about someone.

• Pain, itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private areas.